A Letter To My Younger Self

I just turned 30, and it was amazing. I spent time with some of my favorite people. Yoga and meditation were on my daily to-do list, and my melanin was kissed by the sun for days on end. My completion of 30 laps around the sun couldn't have been better.

The entire year leading up to that point had been one of contemplation, anticipation, and growth. I've learned so much about myself, but I've also come to better understand the little girl in me that was so kind, slightly insecure, but knew she had the biggest, brightest light within her. I appreciate that little girl so much.

If I could go back and tell her things, I think I'd say something like this:

Oh, beautiful little girl (yes, I'd call myself beautiful!). You are smart and wiser than you know. You feel things deeply. Things that people say or do, things that happen in the world will affect you much more than you'd like. Much more than what seems normal. They may hurt your feelings, confuse you, or make you mad. And that's ok. You have enough love for the entire world filling your heart and the weight of the world's sorrows on your shoulders. Feeling this might be stressful at times and might lead you down the rabbithole of emotions, but this super power has its upside too. You have empathy to offer where others may not be able to tread. Your smile can reach into people and bring about light where it might have not existed. Your caring words are pure, intentional, heartfelt, and are readily received. You care for others deeply - people, animals, and the Earth. Though you might feel you're swimming in a pitless pool of emotions, only good can come from it. Settle into it. Feel it. Let it guide you through life in search of the light and offering light along the way.

Don't discount yourself and your talents. Don't second guess yourself, and when people talk over you, continue to speak. Stand your ground, and speak louder. You can't please everyone, and a life dedicated to that is no life that you'd enjoy living. "No" is a complete sentence, and if others penalize you for making pure decisions for the wellbeing of yourself, reevaluate the relationship.

You matter. Your life is making a difference. Your beautiful brown skin and wooly, curly hair make you unique and beautiful. Your body is yours. You don't belong to anyone other than yourself. You owe no one anything; and yet, your life's mission is to help and serve others. Find the balance. 

You're doing a great job. Keep doing what's right. Keep asking questions and being curious. Try hard - don't cut yourself short. Care about people and embrace your family fiercely. You have a great knack for choosing high quality people to befriend. Keep it up. They will become life long relationships that will really enrich your life. 

Beautiful, little girl. Despite the things you think are hindering you, you will find them to contribute to your greatest assets. You are loved and valued. Keep being you - uninhibited, authentically you. It will pay off.

I love you.

-seria

Photo by Tanalee Youngblood on Unsplash